Who is John Spencer?

John Spencer is not Diana Spencer’s less known brother. Even though my mother-in-law is quite proud of the fact that her son-in-law actually spoke to Lady Di, I myself am more proud of the fact that I know John. Sort of.

ENGLISH | preacher.no | Victor Skimmeland | April 24th, 2018
NORWEGIAN VERSION HERE (for the benefit of all but JOHN)

Last week-end I had the privilege of working with John Spencer. His next book is right around the corner and you should look forward to it. Concluding this post you may preview not one, but three, of his last “parables”.

So last week-end I had the pleasure of working with John Spencer. No, I am not talking about long deceased Lady Diana Spencer’s little known, and also dead, brother. Quite the contrary, I am talking about the very much alive, hilarious and hysterically funny John, speaker and author who probably lives in England. He has written several books, both for the benefit of the soul (to use my other-in-laws’ classication), and some titles of other varieties.

As a follow-up to the series of parables that did not exactly receive a standing ovation from Jesus, his next book will be published within the next few weeks. I read the script and handed back some serious and well-opinionated input. Some parts will be changed, I’m sure. Some parts will be left behind. It is also quite possible that I will help John with a translation, as his Norwegian is quite horrible.

To be honest, this work of charity is what mostly resembles my way back to some normalcy. After several years of disease and one not insignificant brain injury, it has been great being able to get started again. Thanks to John for that opportunity.

AUTHOR. «I’ve chosen not to do pictures of me at this time. Sorry!» is the formal statement of a rather reluctant author who happens to be the namesake of Lady Di’s very shortlived elder brother. Photo: British Intelligence.

READ UP >> More entries in English

«Christian» sarchasm

There are plenty of Christians who think it’s unreasonable to make fun of God, as they say.

I would therefore like to state the following;

John Spencer does not make fun of God!

For my own part, I have to add that a God who does not tolerate humour — a God with no sense of humour whatsoever — is far worse than the lot of atheists and militant humanists who keep skulking around. God without a sense of humour, well, that speaks lots more of the preacher than of God himself. God is quite a funny guy. His most famous joke is, after all, that He created (us) humans.

Jesus shows a clear sense of humour in his own preaching. Don’t you believe it? Well, I’ll write about it in the coming weeks. I have already collected several examples.

Not exactly the parables of Jesus

The point of rewriting the parables is to make people think twice about the stories we have heard ever so often without really listening to them. The «Not the parables» series is therefore not about making fun of the gospel, even though the style is clearly satirical.

John himself wrote me on Saturday when I was wondering how far I could go when translating. (You must understand that my respect for the man is somewhere in the vicinity of borderline reverence, him being a published author and all, me a verifiable brain damaged nobody, that’s why).

John stated;

«It’s not a problem at all — I’m very happy for questions, thoughts and feedback. I haven’t got an ego to feed — I just wanted to create something that blessed people — made them laugh and think.»

And — in Norwegian — for those of you English readers not being John but still curious about my language;

«Ikke noe problem, ikke i det hele tatt. Jeg er veldig glad for spørsmål, ideer og tilbakemeldinger. Jeg har ikke noe ego å fore. Jeg ville bare lage noe som velsigner folk, som får dem til å le og tenke.»

There, there.

John Spencer also runs a blog and several pages on Facebook and Twitter. You can follow him and his congregation of anons exchanging ideas. It is sometimes quite lively. Sometimes.

His blog is located at John Spencer Writes. You may click your way through to his pages on Facebook and Twitter.
His previous «Not The Parables» book is currently on sale on Amazon (in several formats). Check out John Spencer: Not the Parables of Jesus: Revised Satirical Version (Not the Bible).

Not (Quite) the Parables of Jesus

I am happy to share with you three — 3 — re-written parables in order to make you think twice. They are all from the upcoming «More Not the Parables of Jesus» by John Spencer.

I have received written permission to do a translation. Since, however, you are obviously an English reader, I will not. Translate, that is.

The Pearl of Great Price

The Kingdom of Heaven is like a man who discovered the most valuable pearl in the world.

As he felt no other pearl compared to it, he felt it was his moral obligation to go around telling everyone else that their pearls were rubbish.
— Not quite the Gospel according to Matthew 13:44-46.

The Good Samaritan 2

Jesus replied,

“There once was a man travelling from Jerusalem to Jericho who was attacked by robbers. They beat him, stripped him of his clothes and money then left him lying half dead beside the road.

Luckily, a priest happened to be going down the same road. But when he saw the man he crossed to the other side and walked past him. So too, a Levite came by. He also crossed to the other side to avoid the man.

Then a Samaritan came upon the man and saw how the previous two Jews had ignored the man. He shouted at them, ‘You selfish people! That’s typical of you Jews!’ He then carried on his way.

Which of these three would you say was a neighbour to the man attacked by robbers?”

The expert in the law replied, “The one who shouted at the others.”

Jesus replied, “Go and do likewise.”
— Not quite the Gospel according to Luke 10:30-37.

The Lost Sheep 2

What do you think?

If a man has one hundred sheep and loses one of them, does he not leave the ninety-nine and go searching for it until he finds it? And when he finds it, doesn’t he begrudgingly fling it over his shoulders to carry home, whilst giving it a stern lecture the whole way back? And won’t he bring that incident up whenever that sheep does anything foolish in the future?

I tell you, in the same way, your Father in heaven will berate you and constantly bring up your past sins.
— Not quite the Gospel according to Luke 15:4-7.

Victor Skimmeland is, among other things, a Master of Theology and has an extensive service record in ministry both home and abroad. He is currently blogging on preacher.no. All rights reserved. © 2018 Victor Skimmeland. Texts found on this site are written for the benefit and entertainment of the public. Non-commercial use is quite all right. Just cite me properly, please. Any other use: Please ask. Beforehand. Seriously.